WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 2

[AnotherNightmare]

CIP,

I just caught up on your situation after my Retrouvaille weekend. In the next few days, after I have processed a little more, I will post more about this overwhelming and wonderful experience in my own thread. I want to repeat one of the key things I have so far posted there to you:

"I went to Retrouvaille hoping to break my wife. It broke me."

The only way to save your M goes through you. You said again that you want her to take responsibility. I said the same thing over and over again, even directly to her. I said it to a friend last Friday when I picked up the kids from the school bus, 4 hours before Retrouvaille started. And I kept thinking through a major part of the weekend "when will she finally admit her mistakes?" And then it hit me out of nowhere, and I realized that all this is my perception of the truth and it has nothing to do with her, it is me, ME. It turned me into a new person, and she recognized this new person, this new me as the one she used to love and feels optimistic about being able to love again. It did not happen instantly, it was a process that started Saturday morning and has not ended yet. But with the Retrouvaille weekend as the catalyst, I had taken a giant step by Sunday afternoon when we left our room.

So again, I can only repeat what so many have said on this board before, discover yourself! Retrouvaille will truly help you with that, and in the process you may rediscover your S.

One other thing: women want to be wanted. They do not want to be needed. They are needed by their children. They do not want their H to be another child. Ask yourself if you want her for who she is, or if you need her because she meets some of your needs.

AN