Yoyo, {{HUGS}}}}, can't believe that this new sitch was created just for YOU, because everyone cares about you.
Some of the posters here have been here since the beginning of this journey, and some others like myself have jumped on board later.
But from what I have read they all care about you and how you are still struggling with this.
I think from the tone of your posts from the past month or so, you are fence sitting yourself. You are not happy with your situation any more.
Go back to the beginnng of your previous sitch where you had high hopes that H was giving you the SUV and you had hoped that reconcillation would come along with it. Now your H has returned to "more of the same". YOYO previous sitch... "I didn't want to post this because I really didn't believe it, but I will fill you in now. Now, don't get your hopes up that H and I have reconciled...Just wanted to let you know that up front.
H and I have been spending lots of time together. We spent Christmas together. On Christmas morning after everyone had opened their presents H had me a piece of paper and said, "Here is the rest of your present" I opened it up and it was a SUV invoice. He explained that they would probably have to do a dealer transfer to get the one that he wanted for me. I started crying. I don't know that it was so much because I was getting a new car or if that he actually seemed to be softening towards me."
As long as OW is in the picture -- working there, you will not be able to reconcile. H is still addicted to her and with him seeing her everyday -- he gets his fix.
H is still doing this -- because he can.
Remember "Trying to Live" who used to post here? She posts on another marriage site that takes a much stronger stand. She did a plan A and then went dark (Plan B) for the 3.5 months. Her H was furious with her. He was like a child having a tantrum -- saying the usual wayward stuff like "I was thinking of coming back and now you wrecked it"; "you are trying to control me", blah blah blah. Looks like it is working -- he is trying to see her, talk to her, and maybe we might have a happy ending on this one. BUT she is standing strong telling him in Plan B letter - No contact OW, and a set of boundaries. If he comes back it has to be on terms that she will feel that they will be able to build their M again.
Let me know if you want to contact her.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and others on this board that want reconcillation.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
