Have you guys ever had it out with a third party to help sort of mediate between you? I don't know your whole story but from what I read here, you guys are still circling in the same patterns as always. I think you are smart and thoughtful and introspective BUT perhaps cannot see the forrest from the trees at times. True, your husband might be a bonehead but you seem to get sucked in and do the same stuff over and over. Don't force me to whip out the cheeseless tunnels analogy but as a third party observer, it seems like you might want to consider it.
Quote:
He started asking me questions designed to intimidate & manipulate me
Statements like that are unfair and sort of demonstrate the presumptive mindset you appear to look at things from. It may not all be his evil intentions. He might just be a bonehead.
Have you ever suggested a MC that both of you go to? If you guys could fight fair or with someone to straighten you (collective you, not JUST you) out when things go off track.
I really hear that your husband wants things to work but gets cornered into fight or flight mode. Not making excuses, it just sounds like both of you are still orbiting around each other unable to make contact.
Your baggage makes it hard for you approach things with an open mind...and he is a bonehead. To be fair, your baggage may be hard fought and earned but it is drowning you. You seem to have analyzed things a thousand ways but I haven't really read too much about what either of you will, would, or are doing differently.
BTW this is not a 2x4, just trying to present a different perspective.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
