My first step out of Newcomers

[Can it work]

Wise words PM. I think that I too was the compassionate one in my M. I worked to try and make life as easy as possible for my W with regard to child rearing and emotional support. Unfortunately, in her eyes, I think that led to her seeing me as boring and unable to have fun any more. At the end of the day, she's still very young and still needs ot have fun. Looking back, I always enabled her to do that at the expense of myself. I was more than happy to sit at home and be supportive and as good a father as I could be and never felt as though I was missing out. Unfortunately, that had the undesired effect of pushing us indifferent directions and led to some resentment from both of us. In my eyes, my W became distant and only seemed to enjoy herself when she was in the company of her friends. From her point of view she probably saw the same. She would more than likely associate me with the mundane life at home but when she was away from me she had her life and her enjoyment. I know now that a massive problem we faced was not doing enough together. The problem was that so much time had already passed since we did anything as a couple, it became too forced and not so enjoyable when we did. That is what I really wanted to work on when I asked my W not to leave. The damage was already done by that point though and she'd fallen out of love with me. That's why it is now so essential that I can show her by whatever means that I can be fun and outgoing again but still keep that grounded, mature family man around too. It's a case of finding a happy medium and projecting to her exactly what I need to become and to keep that image so that she begins to believe that the change is for real.

Obviously this is just speculation from my part for how my W was feeling but it does make sense of a confusing situation. I could be way off mark. I'll probably never know. Right now though, I know that I need to find myself more than ever.

Kev