My first step out of Newcomers

[PositivelyMommy]

HI CIW, What you have experienced is called LIFE. It's completely normal. What I don't understand is how some people can handle it, tackle it and excel in it. And how some people just take a totally pessimistic view, give in and use it as an excuse to say, 'I'm bored' or 'I am not having any fun' or 'This isn't what I signed up for, it's not what I was used to' or 'I didn't know it was going to be so difficult'.

When I mentioned that couples who work together make M fun and great, there needs to be a lot of compassion involved. If one person is struggling, the other person can and should help whether it's with mundane stuff like child-rearing or emotional support. However, when there is no compassion and there is resentment, e.g. 'You didn't used to be like this, you are no fun anymore' instead of 'Parenting is a tough job, my partner really needs a break. I know that she/he is really fun/great/caring except that she/he is too tired.'

My H took the resentment attitude instead of the compassionate one. I always looked at him thru compassionate eyes.

It is not realistic to expect parenting NOT to change a person. The secret is HOW you handle it as a couple, that is the secret. Same with infidelity and separation. A lot of men and women can handle obstacles in a marriage but how it is handled and how it proceeds from there will be the test to the marriage. It is unrealistic to expect that everything and everyone will remain unchanged. We are always changing, always learning. THAT is the constant.