To be honest, I'm so afraid of this "going dark" idea. Sure, she called me noticing that something was different but deep inside I'm terrified of the final outcome. Here is why; If W decided to move out and to have an A because of her feelings of "being neglected, lonely, living under one roof but in the two different worlds" how going dark will fix that?
My wife separated for the same reasons your wife did. She felt unloved and unappreciated and she had an EA instead of PA but it has the same emotional consequences and she is till seeing the OP. We still live in the same house but in different rooms and have 2 daughters. She is at the I don't want to try anymore and I want a divorce stage. I did a lot of pursuing and everything wrong just like you. Lately I have been working really hard at staying away from her and not making any friendly overtures. I say hello and goodbye and goodnight but don't initiate any other conversation except about the kids or the house. I have told her I don't want to be friends and that I need my own space to move on. I have been going out and doing stuff and finding things to make me happy. The last week or so it has really started to affect her. She is now coming into my room to find me and chat. She spent her own money to buy steaks for us for dinner. There is definitely changes in her behavior. She laughs with me and seems more wanting to be my friend since I said I don't want to be hers.
I often wish I could tell her to move out (kids are going to stay with me ultimately) but it isn't financially feasible right now but it would be much better for her to see the consequences of her actions and have time to miss me and the kids.
Can I ask what are you doing to GAL? What are you doing to make yourself happy? You should go out with friends. If your wife notices even better but do it to have fun. Show her that you can have a life without her and that you can be happy without her.
Me-38 W-44 D8 & D6 together '95, Wed '97, Bomb 11/18/08 Still in same house
