Thank you for the advise regarding the actions and not words.
Is "best friends" an emotional affair? I have guys that are really good friends but I don't consider them emotional affairs. (But then again we were best friends before getting married lol - yikes)
I really don't know what to make of it - any clarifying questions would be welcome. Does he open up to her about our marriage issues - probably not. Does he share his achievements and outside projects with her and not me, yes. Am I supposed to be his best friend ... yes. But that is not the case at the moment so I really don't have any ground to stand on.
In terms of his actions, he is on time. In the past being hours late without a call was not unheard of when coming to get our daughter. He asks something of me and follows it up with "if that would be okay?" etc. We work at the same store and instead of being treated with anger and utter disdain, I am now invited into meetings etc to ensure my view points are heard. He used to detest my presence. He jokes around with me again.
I believe he now trusts/believes that my mood issues,irritability and anxiety were all medically induced (as they are all gone now and have been for months since the medical cause was fixed - (celiac disease).
I am the one who moved out though I did not want to. The situation was making my health worse as I could not find answers and felt like I was being kicked while I was down.
I wish I had better answers regarding moving away from her and towards the marriage. I now see this deeper friendship started a long time ago - but I was just not threatened by it. Of course I was also deathly ill and caring for a newborn so you can only worry/deal with so much. I wish I had more concrete examples of moving away/or moving towards but I just don't have them yet as I know they are spending time together still.
We are getting down to do or die time though, perhaps after our next counseling session I will have some more answers. (He was interested in the day and time of the session - and even offered to schedule that one for us?)
I have not mentioned this woman in our sessions together though during our individual "pre-therapy" session I told the C about her. She was left scratching her head with "and you're sure nothing is going on?"
Again not sure what to make of the friendship. Other than if I don't ask about it and totally ignore it I might have a chance to save my marriage as my husband hates to feel controlled, or, I file for divorce and in that case I have no say in what he does and I build my own life full of love and happiness.
