Dianes Roller Coaster Ride continued... lol

[Jayce]

Hi, D. How soon is your H coming home again? I hope you aren't having his folks or yours or anyone else around, just you & the kids. No one to distract or hide behind. You are still doing intermittent reinforcement by waiting so long between communications. He gets to hope it was just some temporary thing. His answere are few & far between, intermittently reinforcing you as well. You know he's not likely to answer, but you wait anyway cuz just in case.

He'll probably not read SSW or SSM, whichever one you gave him cuz it'll make him feel guilty. He's probably had a lot of guilt trips thrown at him when he was a kid. Give him an action request: I need you to think about how you feel. I need you to tell me what you figure out. I need you to tell me why you don't know what to say. And, of course, read the damn book already!LOL

I ran across The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, website http://www.sexscience.org. On the right of their home page they offer some 4-fold publications that you can print out. One is What Sexual Scientists Know About Sexual Satisfaction in Committed Relationships. It is 2 pages in 4-column format. The type size is TINY but you can copy it larger on your printer. Three parts are: Sexual Satisfaction and Relationship Satisfaction and Durability; Emotions, Relationship Quality, and Sexual Satisfaction; and Communication and Sexual Satisfaction. I think all of our LD spouses could benefit from reading it. It states clearly what we all know and are striving for. To have a lasting relationship, you need intimate communication, and a satisfying sex life.

I don't mean to pry, but what did you ask him and what did those 2 sentences say?

I still don't get much detail when I look for "intimate" thoughts from my H, but at least what he does say is positive. I hope I don't have to settle for "Yeah, it was fine" forever LOL. Like, maybe a "Wow!" instead of waiting for me to ask. He's not been as volatile lately either. Between my truck repairs & the dog crunching his glasses he could have gotten really hot & ranted for days, but he only popped off once. Maybe ML more often has mellowed him? All those feel good chemicals flowing thru his brain mmmmmm.

Anyway, besides the questions I mentioned a couple weeks ago, don't forget the head slap: "What if I'm not here next time you come home?" because you're tired of begging. And you shouldn't have to. Life's too short.
Have a good rest of the week.
J