H just moved out, 13 months post-bomb

[Dawn of Hope]

25, thanks for all of your helpful thoughts and suggestions. I changed my verification questions again and haven't seen any further attempts on my account...although apparently the password got changed on the joint account, but I got access and changed it back. I will probably open a new account and close the one I have pretty soon so that he isn't listed as co-owner any more. Not that I really think it makes much difference...I don't have money anyway.

Okay, news flash...
Is this crazy or what?? Today a large box got dropped at my door. I heard the doorbell and watched the delivery guy (who had a clipboard and was in regular clothes, not a uniform, and driving a regular car) walking around in the yard, looking at the house, but I wasn't dressed and so didn't want to answer the door anyway, even if I hadn't been worried I was going to be served D papers if I answered. (Okay, shoot me for not having enough faith.)

Finally the guy got the box out and left it on the porch and drove away. I immediately brought it in; it was addressed to my H at the address (and phone number) of our house, but there was no other delivery paperwork or indication who it might be from. I finally decided I'd better open it and see what the deal was. I don't know if that was the right thing to do, but it worried me to think of just putting the box somewhere until he got around to picking up his mail, when it might be some time-sensitive thing. So...I opened it. The box contained what appeared to be all of the personal stuff from his desk at work, including pictures of me that had been there for years, as well as a nameplate that I made for him long ago, plus some up-to-date glitzy brochures for cruises (something we always planned to do "someday").

WTHey???!! I didn't know what to think, so I put everything back, retaped the box, and put it in a safe place where he could find it easily if he were wandering the house. I admit, I wondered if he had died and nobody told me, and I even Googled obituaries with his name. I can't believe no one would tell me about that, but so much craziness has occurred with this entire MLC ordeal that I don't trust people much these days.

So I have that issue simmering on the back burner of my mind as I go about my business (feeling surprisingly peaceful nevertheless), and a phone call comes in on the home number (which is on the rare side these days--mostly it's bill collectors who call). It turns out to be FedEx, with a recording saying that a package has been shipped that is to be delivered tomorrow that requires an adult to sign for it. I check it out online, and it says that it was sent today, from a local location, and H's name is in the reference field. So I called FedEx, and they were able to tell me that the package was scheduled to be delivered by 10:30 tomorrow morning, and the sender was the company (and location) where my H has worked for over a decade.

??!!??

At this point, I'm guessing that my H has lost his job. The question is whether he quit, was laid off, or got fired, and if he didn't quit, whether he knows yet that he's out of a job. I doubt he quit, because he wouldn't have had the contents of his desk sent here when he hasn't lived here since before Thanksgiving, and hasn't communicated with me or picked up his mail since before Christmas. I suppose this could all be due to something else, but I haven't been able to think of anything else that would explain it. I checked the joint account, and H's salary was automatically deposited on Friday, as scheduled, and no activity after that. I also got a message on the home phone this week that one of his credit cards "may have been compromised" so they are canceling it and sending him a new one (I don't think my name is on this one, but it is attached to our joint bank account, so I might be able to get info on it if necessary).

So at this point, I'm not sure what to do. I have basically been collecting everything that comes here that I think needs to be passed on to him (I open it all and deal with as much as I think is suitable for me to do). I don't mess with stuff that doesn't involve me once I have checked to see what it is; I just throw it onto the stack. Papers related to OW's student loan (on which H is a cosigner) are still coming here, and they go on the pile.

So, I am praying about what I am supposed to do here. Contact him? (Really reluctant to do that; being dark has been much better for me.) Accept the FedEx shipment (I think it is paperwork) and add it to the stack, unopened? Accept it, open it, and add it to the stack? Refuse it because he doesn't live here now and who knows when he will get around to picking up his mail? It's not like I can forward stuff to him or give anyone else his address, since I don't know where he is living.

Y'know, it's funny...just last night I dreamed that he was working in a certain major metropolitan area that is about six hours away. Oddly enough, I had thought at first that this would put him closer to OW, but based on where he told me OW is going to school now, he would still be about 3-1/2 hours from her.

I had a good V-Day. Solitary--I didn't speak with a single person, and I don't think I even saw anyone--but peaceful. I feel relatively peaceful now, too. I choose to believe that God is in control, and keep praying to hear that still, small voice telling me what to do. I don't know what is going to happen, and I am not entirely certain what I am supposed to do, but I continue to follow instructions to the best of my ability. I have certainly gotten a lot closer to God through this whole experience, and I still have plenty of room to grow in that regard.

Please pray/send good thoughts my way, that I will be guided every step to follow God's perfect plan for me, and that I will have the right attitude about everything. And, of course, that God will lead H out of slavery to the deceiver and help H find the right road.

Thank you all for being there for me. I feel stronger just knowing you are there.

Peace,
Dawn