We seem to be in a fairly parallel spot in our respective relationships - you are moving out and forward and so am I.
I know the sadness you are feeling. The end of the relationship is a slow death, and the pain, it is insidious, like cancer. We did not want to stop loving, did we? This was not our choice, it was foisted upon us and so here we are, doing the work, coping and learning.
You write that you still love B and probably always will. This is a tough question but I am going to ask it of you anyway - is that love causing you to hold on? On some level, are you still holding out hope? It is absolutely okay if you are, but you have to answer that for yourself. I am not saying you should not love the mother of your child. Rather, I am suggesting you suss out what kind of love it is. One can move forward and let go and still love, but not if that love is the sort that calls one back. If something is calling you back, you must answer the call - either to put it in its proper place in your heart and move on or to decide to work on things more. Only you know the answer to this.
I know she was abusive. I know you feel you have no choice, but that is your head. You heart does not always know what your head knows. You have to ask your heart, not your head. Once your heart answers, then you finish processing. At least, that has been my experience. It is only in the last month that my heart knows Z and I are finished.
This has zero to do with detachment; this is love. Our hearts feel all manner of love and we have to identify the sort of love when we are trying to let someone go.
As always, the answers are all inside of you. I know you have the courage and the strength to seek them and you will find them and with them, you will find peace in your journey.
