Thank you for writing. Of course the story is really long and complicated. I will keep it to the basics.

Basically, the D bomb was dropped on me but my h has since backed away citing confusion. We have been separated for more than 6 months now and have a 2 year old daughter. Our marriage fell apart because I became very physically and subsequently mentally (anxiety etc.) ill after her birth - though no doctors could tell me what was wrong with me. Once I got an answer, I got better very quickly.

While I was sick I was an anxiety-ridden, needy, crying, physical and mental wreck. Now that I am healthy again, I am back to "me" - and it is awsome.

Before I got sick though our relationship fits well into that "walk-away" wife catagory though I did not plan on walking. - So basically a bad foundation to start with.

So, the improvements are real but so slow. I am being treated with respect - at least to my face in word and deed. (his close friendship/EA with a very young female coworker does not feel like respect but I can't have everything...) As an aside, because I was so sick I got REALLY slender and in great shape due to working out lol - so no worries there - lol.

I am focusing on me but don't want to have "hope" just to have the bomb dropped again. So I detach more and more each week.

My fear of stringing me along could be for any number of reasons - including financial - to put him in a better position for divorce such as buying the house etc. We are not legally separated so there is no child support etc.

I hope any of that makes sense. I know I have to deal with the present, but it is tough for the mind to not wander to whether or not your family will be intact. I am fine either way at this point - though having a GOOD relationship with the current h would be the ideal for my daughter.

Again, still feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I guess that will either go away or it will drop...yes?? or I will drop it \:\( Agh! so frustrating.