I think the answer is rather obvious Lodo... it IS too soon for you. Do what you've done "so far", stay "cordial and respond lightly". That isn't bitter at all. Not in the least bit. You just need some more time to elapse and perhaps a bit more experience dealing with your new found situation.
My D was final in June of 08. It was "too soon" for me up until probably November and December. Somehow, a "magical" transformation occurred within me during the last two months of the year. Once the New Year rolled around I was "good" and could deal with any and all interactions. There was no more sparking between us primarily because there was none on my side, there for there was no "spark" to flow back.
Give it time, maintain status quo. If you are worried that you might be missing a golden opportunity to rekindle something, STOP! You know better than that and you also know that if that is meant to be then she will be the one who has to do it. In the meantime, take care of yourself. Time.
