Whoa!
I didn't see that coming!
Then I go back and see that fb2 posted at the same time I was posting, and I never saw it!

It would be nice if everything was black and white, right and wrong... and maybe to some people it's like that. But I think to most of us there is a lot of gray. I'm going to almost certainly be the one that ends up making a D happen (never mind that W has been the one to use that weapon in fights, that's been outed as a tactic, when I agreed and seh backtracked like she'd been shot froma cannon). So, I guess I'm the one ending the marriage. Though I don't have a lot of trouble arguing that the marriage has been over for years. And that I didn't end it, though I certainly played a part in it.

I can't imagine that it is a good thing for us to stay in relationships that are "sick" indefinitely. Should we try to heal them? I think so. Should we really try hard? Yep. Probably for a lot longer than we want to? Again, yes. But, at some point, it takes two. And I don't think anyone can be expected to pull that load alone forever. At some point, as cookie points out, it infects and contaminates more than just the marriage. That can't be a good thing.

I do believe that the kids will be ok. That doesn't mean they are going to like it. That doesn't mean it is going to be pleasant. I'm not going to like it! But, I believe that in the end, even the kids are going to be better off. If I didn't believe that, I would not do this. I think that anyone that would question that needs to think long and hard about the whole situation. Maybe for someone else a different path is the right one. And I wouldn't condemn that for that. None of us has really walked in each others shoes. Some of them are similar, but none are the same.

(((((((cookie)))))))
(((((((BG)))))))
It doesn't help that it is way too warm in here! I was just about ready for a nap just now!

Last edited by Virtually_Handsome; 02/16/09 11:47 PM.