I may have misunderstood then.
Trying = trying to make things work in a relationship.

"I think you are reading my stuff wrong.. I was asking Tim about 'rewarding' my H's behaviour and make the analogy of rewarding a dog. I DON"T WANT to DO this, just to get a repeat of the behaviour. I want him to understand WHY that action typifies a deeper understanding of what I find kind, compassionate, caring... and for it to matter to HIM, so HE chooses to continue to do it without the reward as a compassionate caring partner in my life."

I think that we "train" each other in relationships. We train one another how we want to be treated because nobody is a mind reader.

I see that you left. I suggested you didn't want to. I stand by that.

Thanks for clarifying. It helps.

AJ

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
Put the glass down...
"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."