When did she begin the contact with this other man? I'm guessing it's prior to Dec. 2008.
Your wife sounds like she's using any excuse she can think of to justify this affair she is having. It's usual "script" for a cheating spouse to accuse the betrayed spouse of being "controlling" all of a sudden, when what they really mean is "I resent you interfering with my ability to have an affair, untethered."
