WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 2

[confusedinpa]

It's obvious deep down she feels you two can work out. But, it's her own head that's preventing her. Overwhelm that side of her brain with compassion but dont' smother her.

Stuck,

I'm not sure she feels that we can work it out - that's why I have so much anxiety/fear/panic. All I can say is I'd be a real wreck if it wasn't for this board. Posting and getting feedback, insight, support and encouragment is invaluable.

Ironically she has said she sees logically, it's a no brainer decision - to give the marriage another try. It's her emotional/heart that's stopping her.

That's one of the "fears" I have of her moving out. She has already said that during my business trips (last one was in early Dec) where I was gone for a week, it was the most relaxing and enjoyable week she had in some time. She said the kids were more relaxed as well.

My therapist (also our marriage counselor) has said don't do anything to help her move out as the counselor feels that she's at least very slightly conflicted. The reason for that is that she does cry when she talks about some of the hurt. Most women who have built up walls so thick that the husband will never get past have distanced themselves from the hurt so they are emotionless when they talk about it. My wife told me over the weekend how she cries almost everyday - whether about not having a good choice to make, or remembering a past hurt or just our current situation. She just doesn't feel vulnerable enough to do it in front of me.

Yet when she talks, she is very emotionless when she says that she can't find a reason to change her mind. She insists that as long as we are in the house together, she is still trying to find one. I just hope she really is......