True Love or True Fog? Part II - The Fertile Void

[Silver Fox]

A day off from work - thought I'd clean and relax a bit but oh no, my L calls. Says H's L called a few weeks ago, they've been playing phone tag but he finally got through - H's L wants to set up a time to start "negotiations". My L says negotiations? We're required by law to go to mediation. The L secretary asks why? My L had to say "because we have counterclaimed!" Sounds like my H has a real winning team there.

My L is now sending me a copy of the Financial Declaration. I know H has supposedly been working on one since he filed but apparently I have to do it too. It's a real bear. He also suggested setting a mediation date for April.

So now I've got to get all my ducks in a row. I need to decide if I should pursue adultery or wait to see what comes of mediation and I have a hundred questions for the L. The L I retained in September, hoping, praying it would never come to this.

I've heard about the two different parts of a D - the financial D and the emotional D. I still to this day can't believe my H is plowing ahead with this. I can't even believe he can afford his L. Perhaps since we haven't even seen each other since August it will be good to sit down in front of another adult and lay all the finances out - they're a mess. Maybe if he has to face what he's done (or hasn't done) for the nearly 2 years since he walked he'll, oh, I don't know, start to wake up?

The emotional D - that's the killer. I wonder if I can ask in mediation - "H, what really happened? Are we never going to talk about it? Am I never going to have closure? Are you really going to sign off and never even attempt a reconciliation? Are you prepared to never, ever, see me again?"

Or is mediation strickly for financial discussions?

Hells bells what a nightmare!