I am in a similar situation (including the "vacation" part). I decided and keep telling myself that I don't care. I have my own life and my own friends.
I finally was able to see that I have 2 options since I cannot stop/control anyone. I can ride it out and not mention it at all and just put all my energy into me or I can file for divorce. Mentioning it at all pushes them farther away...and to be more secretive.
Since I am not ready to file, I have decided to focus on me and it is great. Hard but great..and it gets easier. Very slowly this has worked. My next fun thing is getting boob job. Knowing that it comes down to those 2 options though helped.
I highly recommend martial arts if you are looking for something to get into.
