M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
H came home from work & asked when we could start "dating."
I told him perhaps we'd better work on being able to have a decent conversation first.
from there it got very honest. I again told him I needed time & space to work things through & see if I could get over all the damage to the M.
He again said I should leave our home. Which is fine. I'll start looking for rentals tomorrow.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
I swear I told h some of the things I need from him yesterday (hugs, affection, knowing that he isn't ashamed to be seen with me etc) and almost straight after I said it, he said "I just don't know what you want". Could be I heard him wrong but..... *deep breath*....
At the moment it feels like I'm not getting a yes or a no. I feel like I'm getting from him "well, sucks to be you - I ain't changing for nobody".
** Purple
As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live. Goethe
Hi SC, Sorry to see where things are headed in terms of your H...but I have to say that if anyone has the strength to pull through this and emerge as a bright beacon of hope for her kids - it's you.
"Taking care of me is the best thing I can do for those that I love"
Yes...that signature sums it all up right there - no matter what the situation - if we want our M to work or if we've accepted our M's as over - we have got to take care of ourselves - and love ourselves in a healthy way - in order to model the best of ourselves and offer the best of ourselves to those that we love. It's hard to do - and sometimes we can trip and fall along the way - but the rewards of finding ourselves through loving ourselves with honesty and forgiveness - lets us love others in the most compassionate and giving way imaginable. And I don't mean our spouses - though that can happen too - I mean our children, our families, our friends...a healthier person brings a gift to all around them...just as you've done for the many lives you've touched here on this board.
Could be he said that to make you think that you heard him wrong. Could be he's fogging, diverting, & blocking.
Could be that any man would be proud to be seen with you !!
I think life is too short to continually hear from our partners actions or non-actions "it sucks to be you".
Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
I'm sorry too, but I'm not surprised. He is a controlling person & that's not likely to change anytime soon.
I'm being the best me I can be, that that me doesn't want to be with him & his level of integrity, & the values that he thinks are perfectly acceptable.
Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Hey cookie, check out rentals around my area... LOL!!!! K
Now THAT would be amazing. Hey kids we're moving to G. !!!
LOL
Sweetie, give me 10 years. When my youngest is off to college, I'll be moving your way. I hear the men there are hot. I should be about ready for a relationship by that time.
Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
LOL!!!!