seeking advice on the whole "being friends" question.
XW has started sending me little emails again - not much of anything but little friendly tidbits. How are the cats, I liked the outfit you were wearing today, how is your work coming along - that sort of thing. And she signs them "me", which used to be the way we sent emails to each other. During the midst of the D, she stopped signing emails like that and used her name instead.
So I know she's way overworked and that she broke up with BF #2 because she wasn't willing to place activities with him over her work. So my gut feeling is she's reaching back out to me because I'm familiar and if I respond pleasantly, she won't feel so guilty. At least a month ago she was still breaking into tears around a friend of mine.
In the past, I tried to be friends, but during the D I no longer saw a reason to try so hard. She insisted we shared nothing in common, were incompatible, said she knew we related on many levels but didn't think that was worth much, and refused to do anything together. So my rationale was, on what basis, then, does a friendship rest on? I look to my friends for support, trust, and understanding. So I've been cordial, but have otherwise steered clear to give myself the space I need to get her out of my heart.
My question is, how do I deal with these emails and her sleeve-tugging? I'm sure she's testing the waters. The old me would be friendly and respond in a pleasant manner - that's what she's expecting. The current me doesn't trust why I would want to respond because I'm still not over her. The future me probably wouldn't give a sh*t because she never gives much in return so why bother, although she is very good at social situations, just not relationships.
People keep saying to forgive and take the high road and don't be bitter and don't hold onto the past. So is it not forgiving and being bitter to not respond to XW? We don't have kids, so there really isn't any reason to talk to each other.
