You are figuring it out because you are starting to listen to her and recognising how your actions have played a role in this. I have experience in this. Most of the men here do. Your actions - consistent, steady and loving will be key. Make the changes because they make you better man if she sees them great.
Just do your work on yourself and don't take her temperature to see if she is noticing you. Be confident in your actions - she is watching you whether she tells you or not. YOU ARE BEING WATCHED make no mistake and she is noticing. You can handle it.
Cheers
Coach


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.