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[Still Waters]

Hey Lyfe, you and I seem to have a similar situation. We're both in our 30s with no kids and dealing with a WAW/MLC.

The things everyone has told you are completely true. The only thing you can do right now is GAL, keep a PMA, and detach from your W as much as possible. Almost anything you do is going to be spun in her mind to justify why she should leave, even if you do things purely out of love for her and your marriage. She's a confused alien who's looking for something, anything, to justify her selfish behavior. Don't give her any more ammunition!

My W had an affair (PA/EA), which started a month or so before she moved out. I didn't discover it until it had been going on for a few months, but when I did I exposed it. I happen to be in favor of exposure, but I know some people aren't. Depends on the situation. For me it helped make my W realize that what she had done was wrong by bringing the A to the light of day. So at the very least it made my W realize that she made a bad decision by having an A and made her vow to become a better person and do the right thing going forward. Whether this helps our M remains to be seem, but I do know that there is no way you can piece your M back together while your W is having an affair. The A either needs to fizzle out (which can take anywhere from 6 months to a year or so), or you can try to speed things up by exposing. Either way there are no guarantees.

But the absolute most important thing you can do is to leave her alone and focus on your own happiness. You need to "drop the rope" and stop trying to tug her back to you. If she calls or emails, then you should respond. But don't pursue! And yes, you shouldn't contact her at all (even on special days) unless she contacts you first. Remember: NO PRESSURE. Put the ball in her court and when she passes it to you, pass it right back to her!