This weekend was fun with the kids, it sure went by fast. Pretty much the same here. I have an appt. with my lawyer on Thursday now. Sat. morning when she arrived with the kids, she was bent,(of course) but whatever.She was upset about me having no money to give her. She called Sunday and we spoke briefly. She was in a better mood but she didn't talk too long because she said she had a bad stomach ache and felt like she was going to get sick. She said she will call me tonight. We shall see.
I'm alright I guess. Same old stuff, different day.
Each day gets better. All you can do is push forward. (HAHA, this coming from a person who was on the verge of falling in a hole last week and never returning)
You might be better off to not take advice from me. I'm just good for fun I guess.
I am going to sound hypocritical here because I felt the same way as you. I felt I had no choice because it was what my stbx wanted. I want you to know that you DO have a choice. You don't have to sign anything if you don't want to. You can drag it out.
But....
No matter what choice YOU decide for yourself, there is always a better tomorrow. Lola told me that sometimes you have to let things die for them to regrow. Maybe that is what you are destined for too. Your marriage has to end to begin again. Kind of like out with the old and in with the new. You don't want the old wife back, you want the new and improved wife. The one who has finally found her way back.
Would it be easier to piece back your marriage or try to start over? You and your wife would have to be friends again. I would think it would be hard to just step back in the roles of husband and wife after all you've been through. I know it would be for me.
Trapt, just remember YOU are the only one who knows what you want. YOU are the only one who can decide when enough is enough. YOU ARE IN CHARGE!!
Well as of right now I don't, I've been delaying things for as long as I could. I meant I don't have a choice when it comes to going into me mode.
I have to look out for me. I'm not going to let anything get in the way of that either. Enough is pretty much enough at this point. She won't be a happy camper but hey, I wasn't for the longest time either.
I meant I don't have a choice when it comes to going into me mode.
Ahh...I understand now. Me mode is really a good place to be. I am enjoying it.
Quote:
I have to look out for me.
If you don't look out for yourself then no one will.
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She won't be a happy camper but hey, I wasn't for the longest time either.
BINGO!!! It is all about you now. Be happy, do what you want for you and don't worry about anyone else. Your kids need a happy dad and not one who is out of sorts.
I hope you take some time every now and then to reread your own words - especially what you wrote at the top of this thread - you are a good man and you are finding a person in you that will be a gift to his children.
I know how much it hurts for things to move on as they do - and to feel so powerless about the dark journeys taken by our Ws...but once we let that go - and focus our energy and strength on ourselves the rewards are immeasurable...just as a couple people might have helped you, I want you to know that your posts - what you say about finding yourself and your changes - that's what men here need to read - and need to remember. While this website draws us in with the hope of saving our marriages - the real work - the real challenge - is in finding our selves - our better selves...and that's where real strength emerges.
I'm proud of everything you've accomplished and will continue to accomplish.
I still have my ups and downs at times. I totally agree with you when it comes to the changes in us. The tests seem to never end, but that is what makes us stronger.
I am looking forward to the future. I have no idea what is in store, but that is actually exciting in a way. I have not lost hope in my marriage, it is out of my hands though. It's time to focus on the next leg of the journey and press forward.
