Thanks, I feel kind of weird in this situation, J has not stopped sending me TM's telling me what he was doing and how he played with his nephews etc... I feel a little guilty for not writing anything personal back, just reactions to what HE wrote.
He seems like a really nice guy, and he just sent me a TM saying he could talk to me for hours.... yikes...it's very very weird getting all this attention. Not sure how to handle it all.
H hasn't been on my mind so much the last few days, I noticed that when he came in to drop off the kids (ow was outside in the car waiting) he found me a bit scattered brained...usually I'm very 'there', but today, after the wine I was a bit tipsy...then I found myself in H's arm, as he kissed me goodbye on my cheek. It just all happened fast and H left.
I just feel strange...maybe it's good that this J-guy is leaving next week for about 7 to 8 weeks !
If ever I find someone, I realize NOW more than ever, how difficult it will be for the kids. I kept the J-guy a secret from the kids, didn't think they needed to know about him. I said someone came over to help me hang up the shelves. That's all.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Well, I thinnk things may allready be getting out of hand. The handyman (J) keeps sending me TM's. Now they are flattering of course and all, but he makes SO MANY spelling mistakes (boy do I sound picky!!) and well he's truly not really my type. I think I will stop the short answers I have been giving him out of politeness, as I feel he is misinterpreting them... Last TM he sent said, 'Everytime you wrte back I get a smile on my face..' yikes, I truly hope I won't end up hurting this guy. He's 39, but a man with butterflies in his stomach does seem to become a little boy again....
Help ! How do I stop this without hurting anyone.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders, You certainly have a problem...it's going to be hard not to break his heart. You might want to say something like this:
"J, thank you for taking the time to come over and hang the shelves for me. I really appreciated it. J, I think you may have misinterpreted my intentions about things, but I'm not interested in getting serious w/anyone at this time. I need time and space to figure out who I am and I do not want to see you get hurt in the process. If you can keep things on a friendship level, that's okay, but I'm not ready for anything serious."
Cinders, you may want to play with this a bit or use something different, but you've got to nip this in the bud before it goes on any longer.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I know Snodderly, I feel kind of guilty as I'm loving the attention, and the feeling that there is someone out there thinking about me. But, and this is going to sound so terribly snobbish, so I DO apologize...we are from very different backgrounds, and even though I am not very judgemental, he just doesn't 'fit' into my life.. It would nearly turn into a situation where H would be supporting me and my boyfriend in this house, and I don't want that ! I am also NOT going to leave everything for this guy, as I don't find him that attractive. It's just that as a woman I have felt lonely and it's great to feel wanted again...
I do hope you will not think the worst of me for having said all that...
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders, It's not place to judge anyone and I certainly understand where you are coming from, but if you are not interested in him, it's best to nip it in the bud and let the guy know what he's just not what you are looking for in a long term relationship. If it continues for any length of time, it will be even more difficult to disentangle yourself from.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Snodderly, you are right... Yikes, I can begin to understand how people get caught in affairs...and this isn't even an affair..but the attraction to someone who gives you attention is great even if you are not interested.
Guess I have learnt a lesson here !
Thanks so much for being there for me Snodderly, I very much appreciate it..xxx (((((hugs))))
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders, Just be careful. If you are absolutely certain that this is the right guy, you will have to find a way to tell him. It's going to be a tough one, but you can do it.
Yes, this can be one way in which an affair could be ignited.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Don't feel too bad. He's a 39 year old man and you haven't even gone on a single date with him! If I started texting that much to any man I just had a first date with, they would hightail it south and never look back.
What's nice is that your realize that you deserve some attention. Now it would be great to put yourself in situations where you could get some safe attention. You deserve it!
Thing is, as much as the attention is nice...I'm not sure I'm ready for anything serious yet. But it would be nice to have some safe attention as you said Whitelight ! Strange but this guy is 39 and his TM's seem like those of a teenager sometimes. I have decided not to react to the next one, and will let the interest die down that way. He's leaving next week to go to Asia for about 8 weeks, so that will be enough time to go my own way again. If he starts up the contact when he gets back, I'll just tell him that I'm not interested.
Thanks so much for your advice !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders, I'm glad you recognize the situation for what it is. For all you know, he could be in mlc himself....39 and acting like a teenager in the tming department? Sounds like he wants to be the one to rescue you!
Next week will be here soon enough. Hopefully he will go and find some other avenue of interest!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I know Snodderly, I feel kind of guilty as I'm loving the attention, and the feeling that there is someone out there thinking about me. But, and this is going to sound so terribly snobbish, so I DO apologize...we are from very different backgrounds, and even though I am not very judgemental, he just doesn't 'fit' into my life..