Aud, I sent an email to my W yesterday and titled it "Relationship Notes." I told her that I thought about my recent IC session and wanted her to know my current thoughts. I then proceeded to tell her about the importance of respectful communication, and that I wanted to get the R to a point so that she didn't feel the need to sleep elsewhere.
This morning we had a difficult live conversation. She was able to share in a respectful tone her pain of not having intimacy in the M. She still managed to focus on all of my failings, and overemphasized the past, but there was more disclosure, self-restraint, and pain revealed.
I listened as nondefensively as I could, and said very little. I was trying to be nonreactive. I'll follow-up with comments today via email. I told her that I lack the skills to process and respond during the moment.
We'll likely exchange emails during the day. I'll see if she wants to connect when I get home from work. I'm going to need to check on a daily basis if she wants to connect.
She's still not validating my requests, but acted respectfully during the conversation.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
