WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 2

[confusedinpa]

What are you doing to GAL Confused? You're doing pretty well with being attentive to her. Now what do you need to do for you?

I am working on getting a life by reconnecting with a few old friends. Unfortunately, none of them are local so I'm not sure if that's really going to help. We have two boys (in 2 months will be 7 and 3) so I'm spending time with them. I've also been focused on getting chores/honey do list items done. About 2 weeks ago, I started to use my weights and heavy bag a couple of times/week. There are a couple of close friends that I see once/week (during the day - either met for lunch or I leave early on Friday). They have really been supporting me emotionally about what's been going on. I've also be doing a lot of reading (Divorce Remedy, 5 Lanaguages of Love and will be starting Love without Hurt) as well as seeing a therapist by myself weekly.

I'm really not sure what else there is to do to GAL - I don't want to do things that make it appear I'm back on the "singles" scene. Any suggestions?

Today was a fair morning. My wife is home with our youngest as his daycare was closed for President's day. Our youngest was in a grumpy mood again as he woke up at 2:30 AM as he had an accident in bed - happens about once every month or so (not bad for a 2.5 year old). I took care of it as I couldn't sleep anyway.

I managed to get a couple of hours of sleep before I had to get up for work. I got ready and got the my oldest ready for school. Before I left, my wife was still in bed, but I went over and said I was going to give her a hug. She just opened her arm and I gave her a quick hug (seh hugged me with one arm) and I gave her a kiss on the check.

She seemed tired as she struggled with her cold last nite and her throat was bothering her again. She's also has a yeast infection that had just started. She's in a really tough spot physically, I'm sure it's related to stress that she's under as she physically takes a beating when she's under stress.

I should have picked up how she had issues with an ulcer over the last 2 years, but I didn't. I should have picked up how sad/disconnected she was since Sept of last year, but I didn't.

I should have done alot but I shut down and didn't allow myself to feel/see any of the pain or happiness. I know I'm beating myself up and shouldn't.

I am sad this morning, but I know I need to keep up a positive attitude in front of my wife and kids.

It is hard but do appreciate all the encouragement that I get from this board. It especially means alot to me as many/most of you are also battling the same issues I am.

In the past I didn't thank my wife when she cared. I don't want to make the same mistake here. Thank you everyone.