Maybe I should be in piecing part 6?

[kat727]

Awesome!! She actually said Thank you without you asking her to!! That is indeed progress. She is trying as long as you are helping her with what you need. Babysteps perhaps but steps indeed.

kat

[Hope4us]

Thanks Kat. I think you're right about progress. Last night when I went to go to bed, I said to her, "I'm going to bed, I had a really good time this weekend" and she said "I'm going out to smoke, and I had a really good time this weekend too".

She came to bed just a few minutes later and we watched the news for a bit before going to sleep.

Had some light, nice conversation this morning before heading off to work.

I'm not sure what's different, but she's definitely different than she was even a couple weeks ago. Not sure if the new bed removed a wall between us or if something else is going on in her head, but this past weekend just felt really good. Almost like a corner has been turned. Like I said, not getting my hopes up, but it's just nice.

And one more thing I thought of. Hope this isn't too much information, but it was obvious to me when we were "involved" Saturday night that she had "prepared", if you know what I mean. Ya know the way a woman prepares for being intimate? Well, she had. So she must have been thinking of going that route even before the night began as she showered before we left the house. Hummmmm.......

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Lucky bastard.

Puppy, with apologies to Hairdog

[Hope4us]

Thanks Pup.

Things seem to continue to improve. W is communicating more and more with me. Not that she wasn't before, but it's definitely a different level than before.

Only problem is, now I want MORE from her. This is when patience is so important. We've made some pretty big strides in the last 6 months. It's kind of like I've seen described, that we'll cruise along at one level, and then some event, whether a vacation, the holiday's, a weekend away, whatever and each time it will jump up a notch. And now that it seems like she's really beginning to come around, I WANT MORE!

Example, today, W sends me an email with a link to the place we're having dinner at tomorrow night with the team from the recent negotiations she was involved in. I replied that it looked good. She then sent me a reply that said she wouldn't be leaving work until around 4:30 today "just so you know". It's almost like she's trying her best to be transparent. Just like her cell phone showing last weekend. Feels pretty darn good.

So tonight is a home cooked meal, tomorrow night, dinner with the Mgrs she worked with on the contract, Friday night, wedding and visiting my good friend D and her H. If there's ever a 3 day stretch that will do nothing but continue the progress, I don't know what it is.

Kind of boring stuff. Sorry I haven't had a chance to make the rounds to post to all who have supported me, but work and home have been so busy, just haven't had time. I'll try to get caught up, I promise.

Talk to ya later.

[whatdidido]

I know what you mean about wanting more. My H and I are doing reallllly good...I mean, realllly good. But, something can happen, and it makes me want more and makes me want changes in him, and the reminders of the past anger I had with him come to my head. I, too, have to remember patience. We are in it for the long haul, Hope. Marriage is not easy. The way your wife is is probably how she has been since she was married to you in some ways. Changes take time. Growing with the person you married can sometimes be a hard thing to do.

Let me give you an example. We were all together as a family at an indoor waterpark. We look for a spot to sit in the sitting/eating area. It was full. There was this one table with an almost empty pop and one little towel on a table with 4 chairs. We look around. No one there, so we plant ourselves there for eating our lunch. My H goes to the car to get the food and as I sit there with my son, a man and a girlfriend comes up and says that we are in their seats. I talk to him and said that it looked like it was free because no one was here. He said he "saved it" while he was off watersliding. I tried to explain that we were trying to eat and that it was an eating place and that if he wanted to have a place to sit there were plenty of them by the waterslides, etc. Anyway, he starts grabbing our stuff and throwing them on the floor. I told him he was rude and I got our stuff and left. I told my H and he did NOTHING. THis is where everything came up.....How I felt like he doesn't really know me, love me, or protect me, etc. and so forth. Anyway, all of the things I know are not true, but this one mistake and his lack of acting made me believe all of these bad things about him. Just because someone doesn't act the way we want them to, or the way they should, doesn't mean they don't love us. We talked later, he understood my side, and I understood his, and we worked it out. BUt, I was really mad and hurt and couldn't understand how he could do that if he really loved me....you get my drift.

[Mellenmack]

H4U,

You can smack me now. Just a little 2x4. What I see is a ton of buildup for this great three day weekend. A lot of expectations. And I just wanted to caution you that you are also going to feel some letdown, so maybe don't set yourself up quite so much. I'm sorry. I really hate to tell you that. But you know how it is when you go on vacation and you always have that downswing no matter how great it was. There is always those "Time to Go Home" blues, or the "Back To Normal" blues. Just beware of the feelings and the letdown. Sorry again. I really hope it's everything you want.

Melissa

[Hope4us]

Thanks WDID. I think I get your point. It's just so hard when you see your real W for periods of time, and then she back slides into the alien you don't know. Those alien times are getting shorter and shorter each time, but I'm still left with the feeling that she's going to need a push to get over the hump.

Thanks for checking up on me.

[Hope4us]

Mel, Thanks for the reminder.

I really needed it. I've learned patience I never knew I had. It's almost 2 years since I first became concerned with her "friend". And from what she told me about her "friend", it worried me all the more. It's been 11 months since she told me she's gone NC with OM. I don't believe she hasn't talked to him since that time, but I do see great progress in the last 5 months or so. And even though I've learned patience I never knew I had, it's wearing thin.

To not get anything I need to heal from this makes it all that much harder. And after a good weekend like we had last weekend, and then the fun planned for this weekend, it's hard not to expect more.

I appreciate the little 2x4. I definitely needed it. I just hope my expectations don't get the best of me.

[whatdidido]

I'm always checking on you.

Those alien times will get shorter and shorter even still. She may need that push, but I really think all it will take is a good conversation about what you need.

I really think you guys are going to be ok.

[Hope4us]

Thanks WDID.

I think that push is coming. She keeps pushing to buy a new car and so far I've avoided the conversation because it will be the big R talk. And I've not wanted to go there since we seem to be making progress.

But it's coming. Probably sooner rather than later. When we have that conversation I'm going to tell her that I'm not in favor of buying a new car because I don't know if we'll be together in 6 months and I'm not going into more debt when I don't know what OUR future holds. And with one son in college and one starting college in a year and a half, I just don't think its wise to go into more debt when we don't know what our financial situation will be like. I'll also get into OM moving back to the area and how I WILL NOT accept her and OM working in the same location and if she wants to stay, no problem, but I'm not going to stay here. Then it's up to her.

Thanks for checking up on me. I really appreciate it.