Standing on the Edge

[native]

I feel for you native. I don't think you should believe her. Nor do I think it's time to date. For either of you. My thought is that once you start dating, that's the last sign before leaving the tracks for good. Biblically, you should not while married. Unless I missed the divorce? You owe it to yourself and your relationship with God but I do understand your anger and resentment and hurt. I've had similar thoughts.

You know AJ, everything within me agrees in theory with you. I have no control of course whether she dates or not.

I have told her she has until the divorce is final, which would be this fall sometime, after that all bets are off. But I wonder if she is just taking me for granted here.

My two different motives for thinking about dateing.

1: to make her realize she may lose me for good.

2: because she may have already lost me for good by her recent behavior.

If I went out, it would not be immediatly with the intention of romance, however it would be a risk, especially in the emotional state I am in.

I think for sure I will join the men from my church on Tues. nights down at a local Irish pub and start building a network of friends that I was unable to do while married.

You know, strictly speaking, I am still married. But to whom ? To my wife? Only on paper apparantly. W took off her rings almost 8 mos. ago. She hasn't been physically unfaithful, from what I can gather......

Anyway, gotta go to work. Thanks. I don't know what I will do at this point other than go dark.