WAW New life with OM

[Puppy Dog Tails]

The more I clean the house and pack the rest of W stuff, the more I feel like I'm pushing W out, however, on the other hand I feel more in control of MY house! does anyone think packing up WAW stuff is going too far as I still want to work on M?

No, it's not going too far! It's the consequences of her selfish and poor choices.

Puppy

[PortlandDad]

I agree with Puppy on this one. It is not going too far to move her things out. If anything, it will server as a wake-up that there are consequences for her decisions.

[Phoenixdeux]

does anyone think packing up WAW stuff is going too far as I still want to work on M?

It's not going to far. You are living your life under the assumption that she isn't coming back. What's wrong with that? You needed the dresser room and she wasn't using it, so it's only practical. What's wrong with that?

[ppenton]

Thanks for the confirmation, as I said she was surprised to see her stuff but understood that I needed to packed it up as I was tired of looking at it. I feel so new to this as I’m sure lots of people do and don’t always know what to do or act. I have the DB list from Sandi2 which is great and going dimmer has been easier since W is not contacting me much except about the kids. W is working very hard with her new R and OM that we (her family) is in the background. I don’t think this R will last as I think W will get worn out but I’m trying really hard to move on as we have setup a separation agreement for the time being.
Like Phoenixdeux mentioned I’m trying to live like she is not coming back. It’s not easy as I want her back but have to be strong for my kids. They know who is still home and willing to keep the family together.

[Phoenixdeux]

I needed to packed it up as I was tired of looking at it.

I know what you mean, but let me just kind of get you on a different mindset. As far as she knows or is concerned, it isn't "I'm tired of looking at it", which kind of gives the "I'm hurt, angry, and pouting" feel, it's more like it's not so much that I want this out because it reminds me of you, and that hurts, so much as this is MY LIFE and MY HOME, so your stuff really should be with you. I need the space for MY stuff, in MY house."

[lemonsnap]

Good for you for doing something that feels right and is good for you.

[ppenton]

I needed to packed it up as I was tired of looking at it.

I know what you mean, but let me just kind of get you on a different mindset. As far as she knows or is concerned, it isn't "I'm tired of looking at it", which kind of gives the "I'm hurt, angry, and pouting" feel, it's more like it's not so much that I want this out because it reminds me of you, and that hurts, so much as this is MY LIFE and MY HOME, so your stuff really should be with you. I need the space for MY stuff, in MY house."

I like the mindset change, that's good!
I just got the phone with an old friend talked for about 1hr and half, it was so nice to catch up.

[ppenton]

Found these articles interesting about affairs…

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=19980701-000026&page=1


http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=19930501-000027&page=1

[SteveInTN]

Hey, sure am sorry you are going through this. Just read your two threads. Wow...

I'd advise you to NOT read or even think about the "whys" of an affair. You simply do not need anymore information rattling around upstairs right now, definitely not about stuff that is in the past or that you can do nothing about. You just keep on "manning up" like you have been and consume yourself with being "Super Dad". Throw in some R&R time for yourself when you can. The less you think about her right now the better.

[ppenton]

I agree as the why this and why that is driving me crazy. I know I can't change the past so I'm trying to look ahead and am keeping these teenagers in line