Happy anniversary to you. lol. how are you doing today? I really hate guilt trips, but, if you can see them coming and devert them it really makes them angry hehehe.
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
(((((BG))))) (((((Michelle))))) I'm doing ok today. Still fighting being tired, but I think that maybe the medication adjustment is helping. It's a bit too soon to tell, I think.
I'm pretty sure the guilt trip is coming, and I have already worked past it for myself. It would be interesting if some of it bounced back and hit her. Since when you get down to it, it should! I'm not going to do it, though, even though it might be very tempting!
I sorry you are still so tired!! its hard when you adjust medicine sometimes.
yay you arent gonna ride the guilt train!!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
fb2, yes, I should have said "in the long run"... I didn't specify that they wouldn't be fine on day one of the divorce.
But, it's not BS and lies, it's one psychologists opinion. You're entitled to your opinion too.
Doc does not "make money" telling me what I want to hear. Why do you assume that ? Who is better to judge if he's "telling me what I want to hear" you or me ?
So you would recommend that a person stay in a "sick" relationship & let the "sick" one continue infecting and contaminating the whole family ???
I'm sure somewhere along the marriage vows, H promised to protect me, care for me, & keep me safe. Doesn't that include safe from him ??
Where did I say lie to the kids ?
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Happy Anniversary to you. Wish it were different for all of us.
Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Whoa! I didn't see that coming! Then I go back and see that fb2 posted at the same time I was posting, and I never saw it!
It would be nice if everything was black and white, right and wrong... and maybe to some people it's like that. But I think to most of us there is a lot of gray. I'm going to almost certainly be the one that ends up making a D happen (never mind that W has been the one to use that weapon in fights, that's been outed as a tactic, when I agreed and seh backtracked like she'd been shot froma cannon). So, I guess I'm the one ending the marriage. Though I don't have a lot of trouble arguing that the marriage has been over for years. And that I didn't end it, though I certainly played a part in it.
I can't imagine that it is a good thing for us to stay in relationships that are "sick" indefinitely. Should we try to heal them? I think so. Should we really try hard? Yep. Probably for a lot longer than we want to? Again, yes. But, at some point, it takes two. And I don't think anyone can be expected to pull that load alone forever. At some point, as cookie points out, it infects and contaminates more than just the marriage. That can't be a good thing.
I do believe that the kids will be ok. That doesn't mean they are going to like it. That doesn't mean it is going to be pleasant. I'm not going to like it! But, I believe that in the end, even the kids are going to be better off. If I didn't believe that, I would not do this. I think that anyone that would question that needs to think long and hard about the whole situation. Maybe for someone else a different path is the right one. And I wouldn't condemn that for that. None of us has really walked in each others shoes. Some of them are similar, but none are the same.
(((((((cookie))))))) (((((((BG))))))) It doesn't help that it is way too warm in here! I was just about ready for a nap just now!
Last edited by Virtually_Handsome; 02/16/0911:47 PM.
