PD, I can't give you any advice regarding your living situation. But all I can say is your wife has gone through a lot of major stress adapting to new situations and new life changes many, many times over the years you've been married.
Your wife probably feels as if there is no support for her where you are at in Portland and probably feels very depressed.
Let me start out by asking you if you do love her. I have not seen you state that anywhere. If you do, the only thing I can suggest is that you respect her wishes. It could be that she just cannot take the constant moving around or living in Portland. Germany is her home, it may be she feels more comfortable there. She probably very well felt like you put her as a low priority in your life. I would very much respect the fact that she says she doesn't like living in the US right now. That might give you clues. Don't think that is a minor point here...it's coming through to me loud and clear. You have to attract her back. Or can you find a way to live in Germany? Where is the compromise here? She's followed you around for a long time now.
Have either of you talked to a C? Have you talked to a DB coach?
Keep posting. What have you tried to do DB-wise and what were the results? What has worked? What hasn't?
I replied to just bump you. I may not be able to follow you, especially in the next few days...am traveling for work over the next month. Don't give up hope and keep posting. I would really suggest you talk to pro-M coach or counselor if you indeed want this marriage to succeed.
