What can you do to actively address your fears? It isn't engaging with the stbx.... can you get your ducks in a row to help? If she is lining up the MIL as a "character witness," can you get one in your favor?
I guess the thing that bothers me is that the court systems are already biased against the husbands in custody cases. Even though shared parenting is starting to catch on in a lot of places, still most people think fair the so-called "traditional" arrangement where the father is allowed visitation only every other weekend, with an occasional day in the middle of the week thrown in. That amounts to about 78 days a year -- throw in a two week vacation and you're at the ceiling of 92 days per year. How can anyone seriously think that children can be properly fathered with so little quality time?
But with the decks already stacked against fathers as it is, I had to be an idiot and allow the toxic MIL to live in my home for the 8 months prior to the bomb. MIL has already lied to W -- absolute bold-faced lies unmistakable in their intent -- about me before, and I have absolutely no doubt MIL will lie before a judge and slander me publicly. I am not worried so much about my own reputation as much as MIL succeeding in coloring a judge's decisions to where shared custody is going to be seen as impossible.
On top of that, I know they are going to take this as their opportunity to attack my retirement funds and my 401k -- and I will be forced to do the same against STBXW. After the both of us have raided each other's meager savings, we're both going to be wiped out -- and our children will be worse for it.
No, I do have some heavy concerns about a court battle, but I need to try to not let it affect me, as best as my pessimistic self is capable.
