Everyone - thank you so much for your support! You have no idea how much it means to me!
I am stuck in this very tough place - love my wife, love my kids, love my family - I know W is so lost.
I'm ready to move on, but not giving up on God. I have been pogo-ing between believing God can do anything, to insisting that I'm divorcing and moving forward, and THAT has been the crux of my problems dealing with issues.
I have found a great place - one where I believe firmly in the miracles God can perform, but also dealing with the reality of the situation - my own version of Coach's Paradox. I know someone else wrote it, but he uses it so well!
I could not think for the LIFE of me how anything positive could have come out of OM coming to the kid's game, and having to take them away from something they love. I had prayed so hard for it to NOT happen, and I couldn't understand why God wouldn't work that out.
But then I got past, cleared my head, and I looked back and I believe it was for one of two things:
1. God may be needing to have W find some respect for me - a starting point for his miracle. 2. God may have needed for W to find some respect for me - so she will allow me to be the father I need to be after we're divorced.
Either way - I win, and I show W that I will not compromise my morals and beliefs. Until the final decision happens, I will look at the hard days as they come, and remember how hard yesterday was. Yet I made it through, I stayed strong, and I came out on the other side a much happier and stronger man.
