Day 4 of my decision. No thoughts of her, no memories, nothing. Pain is enormous, feel emptier that ever inside. But I need to take more time to work out my mind. Missed church and that makes me mad. Met a woman at a dance last night, there was a huge opportunity for me to be with someone and I ended it. Wasn't right, just felt wrong. It was easy to get those feelings , but too easy. I don't need to hurt someone while I go through this. I am taking time tonight to help sort out my head and my decision. I have read quite a bit. amy your insight to the supplanter has been with me since I read it. If nothing else, That thought of her is in my head. I have read some of Trapt other posts and the ones herefor me. There is aquite a bit for me to feed on in those. My decision is still to do what I am doing, for now, to attitude this up and out. My mind is still very cloudy and very blurry. I feel stronger but the void is actually bigger, it seems tohave grown. I cannot relent the decision right now, but I also believe that it may change in time. I will continue on here to let eveyone know my progressions and thoughts as they may be helpful to others. My faith is very solid right now, although it is faith int he unknown. God has His arm around me, so I am ready for attacks or temptations from the other one now. Most likely what happened last night or what almost happened I should say. I passed that test. He is with me. My mind needs some focus and clarity right now. Being dark will give me that opportunity to focaus and get my head on straight.
