Can it work, I just don’t know what to do for the best when she hits me as I’ve gotta be truthful and say that the attacks never really inflict any actual bodily pain, yeah they leave a few bruises and the scratches were sore for a day or two, but no real physical damage is done. It just doesn’t seem right calling the police, I know if I ever did she would just turn this around and use it against me “how can you call the police when you say you love me” kind of thing. She’s done this many a time over the past couple of weeks saying “that’s a funny way of showing me you love me” when I react in a particular way to something she’s done or said. The police, god that’s a hard one, yeah I know if I want custody I should have these attacks on record but I also think that if I did ever report her if would totally destroy any chances I may have. Catch 22!
The one thing that stands out to me in your reply is when you mention mental issues. When all of this kicked off towards the end of October it all started with my wife saying that she thought she was depressed and it was making her unsure how she felt about me, I asked her to go and see the GP and it was after this supposed visit to the GP that she initially asked me to move out for a couple of days to give her a little space. I say supposed because I’ve since found out she never went on that occasion, but she told me that the GP had said she wasn’t depressed and just needed a little space. When I moved out again early in the new year I insisted that I would only do so if she definitely went to the GP for real this time and low and behold she was prescribed anti-depressants.
When we did our one and only visit to relate which was about 2 weeks after this we had the standard welcome to relate consultation whereby the counsellor explains how relate work, asks a few questions and then at the end she runs through what the options available to you are, this stage involves her filling in a form as to what type of counsellor you may need should you wish to proceed and she hesitated when she came to the part about requiring a counsellor who has specialist mental health training… She decided to answer “No” but then added “at this stage”. I think my wife shot herself in the foot with the relate counsellor because she told the counsellor that her GP was thinking of taking her off the pills as they were not making any difference to which the counsellor replied oh I don’t think he’d do that as you’ve only been on them 2 weeks and these things take at least 3-4 weeks before any effects are noticeable. The counsellor also informed my wife that anti-depressants are very much hit and miss, what works for one person won’t work on another, and therefore GP’s would normally try at least 2 or 3 different types over a several month period before deciding a person did not require them. The counsellor did tell me that due to data protection I am allowed to have a copy of whatever notes are taken and I think I may take her up on this as I would love to know her thoughts.
My wife went back to the GP’s a couple of weeks ago and informed me that she is off the pills but bearing in mind what the relate counsellor told me I can’t see that this is true. She may well still be on the pills I don’t know, I just hope to God that she didn’t do a no show and decided to quit the pills herself. If the GP reckoned she needed them it should also come from the GP that she doesn’t need them.
I said in my original post that my wifes hurtful comments are like water off a ducks back to me and I think the main reason for that is because I know my wife is not my wife at the moment. She is definitely not the person I have been with for the last 11 years and no matter what she says there is no way she could hide this person from the outside world for that length of time.
I am not the only person involved in all of this who thinks she may need some form of help but regardless of what anyone thinks if she doesn’t admit that there might be a problem herself I cannot see what I do. I suppose its like they say about an alcoholic that the first step is admitting you’ve got a problem!
