Sounds like you did wake up in bizzaroworld. What a terrible way to wake up. Unfortunately, happens when sharing the same household, but it gets better (in a goog way).
Also sounds like she is considering the separation and that has to do with some of the changes, like coming up with the separation and not responding in old ways.
It is important to let a lot of things go right now - you are in this place because of R differences which will not go away without help and time. The first goal has to be to get to the place where you can both work on the M. You do your part now and when she is ready to join you then you work out the other stuff.
I think her other comments show her insecurities at the moment - after all aren't you feeling a bit overwhelmed emotionally now? So is she. Be prepared for her to use the car in a deal for the separation.
Mostly I want to encourage you to keep DBing in your responses to her. It is working. Did you do anything about contacting MC or IC? I have been new to this myself, spend the last six weeks setting some limits and changing responses. H is seeking help for his problem. I got the encouragement from others here and reading. We are a long way from reuniting, it will take time to heal for both of us, but it has started. The first step in a long journey. Passing it on.
Remember, you are doing fine, and it is working. Keep it up.
Ask questions about specific sitch's others will help too.
