Well, Ali, I think you hit it on the head w/this one:
Quote:
the WA wife is angry.. bitter, resentful, blames the H entirely, feels undervalued, taken for granted all these years and therefore... will be in your face.. angry.. they want you to pay, to suffer, even after you D.
My XW is definitely angry and wants me to be punished even now.
Case in point, she e-mailed me on Friday about my pushing for us to split up the pensions. She claimed I chose to do the various things to break up our M and I'm now pushing for money from her to hurt our D. She called me selfish and vindictive for pursuing the splitting of the pensions. She outlined attack after attack against me... the same old stuff that she's used before.
My gut reaction was to write her back, not be kind, and dispell everything she said. I asked her when she would take accountability for her actions? For her creation of things to help fit her story? For her out and out lies about everything that has gone on so her friends and family can feel she made the correct decision in leaving me and destroying our family.
I wrote it, but I sent it to myself. It was good to get out as I was ANGRY! But I realize it would serve ZERO purpose except for making me feel better and releasing stress, anger, hostility, and some of my pain on to her. Again, I am glad I realized this effort would be worthless and wasted b/c she wouldn't read it or acknowledge any of it.
So, I haven't responded yet. However, I'm thinking of this as my reply - please give me feed back as to what you think:
Quote:
XW-
This is business. It is not personal. We need to view the final phase of this divorce as such and nothing more.
We both agreed to not use D as a pawn in our divorce, so please leave her out of this as it has absolutely nothing to do with her.
Choices were made by both of us and we have to be accountable for our choices.
I will let you know when I've been able to start the process with Mr. (pension attorney).
Again, I'd love to hear what the community thinks about this reply.
