the place I am at......I need advise

[itsy]

Dear Snodderly,

he's a very agreeable person when things go his way...I think that sometimes he cares and that he will always love me but not in love. He is very nice on the phone as long as we do not discuss personal finanes betwen us. he had issues with money in his crisis. He has told my mom that he still loves me...and wonders way we all just can't get along..He loves me but is not in love with me...got that bomb in 2004or 2005...he fell out of being in love with me...my fault too I was always working at night when he got home and on Saturdays so i guess that he got lonely and fell outa love with me...plus the over the top MLC..I can understand it all it was my fault too but not compared to him

He is nice to me when he gets his way...and we do not discuss the past and money issues..I told him that i quit smoking for 4 months and returned to it becausee of job stress 2 years ago and that i was going to quit again and he was very happy for me sincere care I thought by what he said...it was one of his pet peeves..so I will quit soon after the carton is gone...he was surprised that I had quit at all...need the pill Chantax to do it tho need a doctor to prescribe it..

I will close the door..when we talked we talked about the children and their future goals i was surprised that he had talked to daughter 27 about her life and what she needs to do to get a career...very surprising to me since he hasn't cared about them like I thought he did..

The Ow moved in last fall when she lost her job..she's looking for another one I hear...but she waits on him hand and foot,very, very pleasing and accomadating to all...she's a pleaser.. not very good around the grandkids...she's never been married or had children...My S24 made it sound like "she just moved in" and Ex was just ok with it...that he really never asked
of course to avoid responsibility should it not work out....he's not resposible. S24 moved out when she moved in, not a happy kid about that..

I will be seeing Ex for the first time probably in June at grandkids birthay party first time in 3 years..I will be mentally and emotionally prepared I am sure that he will bring OW this year. i have not been strong enough to see him until now .. I was still too upset and I was very angry ..extremely pissed..but this year i will go and see him and have a great time with all...may even take a man with me...haha..still not ready to date or see other men yet i work with counselor about those issues..And C is very good. i am fortunate to have found him because he is so good for me..


i have definitely come along way since 2004-2005-2006 first I stopped crying every day then the initial pain went away then the anger phase now acceptance is in play for me..i have come along way...
thanks for responding to me , i really apppreciate it.

Take care talk soon
Itsy