I like that you were able to turn the day around and the way you did it. Your parents are a great support for you.
The kids will not understand principles until later but they will remember.
You did a great job of catching yourself repeating patterns and stepping away from them - there is a reason for making changes.
Your W definitely doesn't share the same principles as you but you can both change enough to make things work for the kids. You both will be in each other's lives for a long time -better to figure out how to manage it now.
