As you say, you said some things that needed to be said. I personally think you were a little too NICE to her, but hey, that's just our righteous indignation rising up for ya b/c we've seen you fight so hard.
Personally, I think your wife is FOS. She SAYS all the right things, but -- oh yeah -- "I'm not willing to give up my 'friend'."
Yes, Jesus forgave the adultress. But He also said very clearly "Go and sin no more."
Your wife sounds sad, wistful, confused. But she DOESN'T sound repentant to me. My sister has a saying: God will fix you, but He has to BREAK you first," and you have to ALLOW yourself to be broken.
