A quick recap. Jun 07 found out H had ONS that happened in Jan 07. He said he would take full responsibility but then refused to talk about it again. I tried to reach out to him but he was unreachable. Jul 07 H almost died from illness, I nursed him back to health. I told him I felt insecure, want to renew vows. We renew vows in Nov 07. Found out March 08 that he has had an affair with his direct report Jan 08 (two months after we renewed vows). Now figured out ONS was probably the same person and he had her in the wings continuing the A. Did not want to leave the comfort of the M until his R with her was secure. So when I found out in March 08, he said 'I love her' and he decided to leave our marital home. Pretext was to think things through, promised that he would keep away from her, lies, lies and more lies, even now.
We are both in IC with the same therapist but separately. IC is pro-M. No papers filed. No D talk...yet.
Emotions have calmed down a lot since then. I love the man I married but not the person who has done this to our families. Think he is in MLC amongst other things. H still in heat of A.
I am uncertain how I want to proceed. Don't know if I am wasting my time waiting for the man I love to see my good points again. Doing very well GAL, I am happy otherwise. No plans on moving onto another R.
IC believes most R that starts with an A ends badly. So he advises patience and GAL. I agree with him that his A will not be long term but don't know if that bodes well for my M as it is so badly damaged by his behavior and his continued betrayal and lying.
I want to save my M but not seeing any progress just kills my motivation.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
