1)Yeah, some things do have to just be a decision to follow your gut and act. The separation *has* to make things that much more complex. I get that it's hard to pull up your stakes and move to her when the future seems uncertain considering her emotional distance and her continued communication with OM. (If I remember right, she had similar reservations about moving to where you are?) Definitely difficult to work on it together if you're not physically in the same place.
2)Goes back to #1, I think. But yeah, it takes effort on both parts.
3)SO TRUE: you can't ever let GAL go...but you do need to find ways to do it while connecting.
Nothing wrong with still trying to figure out what you need/want. I don't think you should settle for a lack of passion (I don't think it's a woman/man thing. I think sometimes we get so busy or hopeless we kind of go on autopilot, and that is what gets us in trouble)...I learned through all this that I have to have that in my life, and while I occasionally wonder if I'll ever have exactly what I want, I also accept that my H is who he is, and it's not right for me to expect things of him that are not in keeping with his self. So I've been enjoying what I do have with him...and things are much better.
Quote:
There is a right answer for me, a path that goes away from the false infatuation and the resignation of age, and finds a middle way that has aspects of passion and comfort and choice.
There is a right answer for you. And you'll find it somehow. Perhaps being aware that you need to find it is half the battle.
I'm past going back on forth on whether to D or not...but I've got these beautiful little kids, and that is a big incentive for me at this point. For sure some days are and will be easier than others...and I hope the easy days start soon for you as well.
I'm with you on how hard it is to watch others make the same mistakes. I think it depends on the person whether they would listen or have to just experience the consequences to understand. What would you have said to someone who tried to tell you what was ahead?
Hang in there. And Happy V-Day to you too...I hope you get to do something nice this weekend. ((hugs))
For sure some days are and will be easier than others...and I hope the easy days start soon for you as well.
