Last weekend, the W took the kids for a WHOLE weekend. The first time she's done this since she split last September. She took them to her sister's house. Found later this past week, that she dropped them off there and went to Cincy for a B-day party. She didn't even stay there with them. All the while, she led me to believe that she was spending time with them. So my sympathy for her not getting time with the kids now dissipates.
We went this whole week with nary a phone call until this morning. She had asked me last Sunday if she could come out and help clean the house since she "quit" her job and had the time. She was a no show.
So this morning she calls and wants to talk to the kids. S7 didn't want to talk to her. D4 talked for 10 seconds. Then W asks if she could come see them Sunday afternoon and Monday. I replied that they had school Monday. She decided that she would come over Sunday afternoon. I said OK. Then I get a text from her. What followed is a two hour texting convo that had some R talk in it. I've posted it below: It's long; but I guess I want you guys to look at it. I believe this to be my last try at this marriage; but mostly, I feel God wanted me to say these things: W is in Red and I'm in blue
Hey, I was thinkn we could sit down and dscuss a ssettlement on monday while kids r at school...what do u think?
Sounds like a great idea Ok...sorry I didn't come out this past week...busy w interviews and wrkn on my resume plan on coming out a cupl dayz next week to help w the house if your still ok with that
If we're going to be divorced, I'd rather you didn't. KNow what I mean? It would be like me coming over to your place to help out. Kinda weird??
Yeah I see what you mean...well I would like to see the kids more often..more than just weekends maybe a cupl times a week they don't have to spend the night. But I would like to have dinner w them and possible take them to church on Wed nights
We can work something out.
Ok...I really miss them..so much it hurts...but I'm not willing to have them be raised by babysitters like my sis and I were
I agree. That's why I fought for so long for them to be raised by their mother AND father just how God intended.
I know you did the best you could and trust me this hasn't been easy for me either...but our marriage was damaged before it started...that's my fault, not yours
But Faith and trust in God can overcome any obstacle in THIS world. And, trust me, He would have to work hard on me to change course at this point, so it's not like I'm pressing to stay married. These are just thoughts that I feel God has placed upon my heart and I would be doing us both a disservice if I didn't mention them. Since you seem to be interested in Church, I just wanted to say that. The individual in me just wants out; but I know I miss my family and I know God would rather we keep our family!!
I hear ya and it weighs on me and I appreciate your honesty...and I know God really wants us to stay married too and its the same w me...I the individual want out and believe me, I have considered a reconciliation but for all the wrong reasons..and God really wouldn't like that I don't think...yeah I'm getting back to God and reclaiming my faith and asking Him to help me through this...cuz its the hardest thing I've ever had to do
Well that's good to hear...just keep your heart open to what He tells you...I pray for you and our family every night. I pray for Him to place upon my heart what is His will!!Not mine!! My will may not coincide with His. The hardest part of life is living according to His will. The Bible teaches us to put aside our worldly and flesh-driven desires, to live as God commands. I know that's hard and sacrificial. That's why He would have to work hard on me. There's a small part of my open to reconciliation, but most of me feels great about my future!! I've really been enjoying myself. Sometimes though, I feel guilty about that. Like I've given up on my family.
You didn't give up, I did and I carry a lot of guilt around for that...it says in the Bible that those who commit adultery shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. and that weighs heavily on my soul and my conscience..so I've eliminated any sins of the flesh and that hasn't been easy but it's the right thing to do.
Yes, it is the right thing to do...God also forgives all who sin..and as a husband He commands me to do the same...and that would require time, patience, and a lot of help from Him. But "W" we're only in this world for a short time. What we do in this world is preparing us for the next one. I'm trying to live accordingly. I want to spend eternity in Heaven. All we can do is just keep seeking Him out, live out His will, pray and what is right will follow.
Well said...I have no doubt that u could forgive me but forgiving me and trusting me r two very different things.
And you would be right on the money with that...could I trust you?.. r u willing to do what is necessary to be trusted?...am I willing to do what is required to trust you again without making you feel controlled and under constant surveillance?...am I willing to let go a few friends myself?...these are some of the obstacles in front of me.
Well I havent' gotten rid of any "friend" and I'm not sure what I want right now I just need to work on me for a while.
That's a good thing too...working on ourselves...anyway got to get the kids some lunch. Thanks for the convo. We'll see ya tomorrow!!
No problem.
All of that took place over the course of two hours...now what?? I guess my conscience is clear...that I've said my piece about what God would have us do rather than what we, as individuals, would like to do. I don't think it changes anything. I'm still looking forward to getting out of this toxic M; we'll see what the settlement discussions have in store.
