Divorced, but 'still hopeful' to reconcile.

[still hopeful]

JOURNALING:

I knew it was a mistake to leave a VM tonight. XW is still pissed off and thinking that I was calling her a bad parent because I expressed concern about our D8 having private conversations with Brit. I can't wait 'til my D8 becomes sexually active and exposes herself to STDs and/or pregnancy. It's beyond me how XW believes that she has all of this under control and I'm just blind and/or ignorant of her 'reality'.XW continues on swearing at me on the phone and calling me by name within earshot of our children. Well, I don't control her and I know that I will hear from her at some point tomorrow to apologize after she has time to stew in her juices and think rationally. I am done though, trying to reason with her. I cant' be rational with someone who isn't rational often enough. She spends a great deal of time defending indefensible positions in an indignant way. THAT I cannot help and I will not take it on. I understand that I am having a rough go of it lately, but my present state is not a permanent state. Sadly for my 'old' XW, hers is. As my friend Miguel told me in his thick Spanish accent, "Be like a turtle. Pull your head and your legs inside your chell and let the chit bounce right off of ju." So, that's what I'm gonna do, let the chit bounce right off of me.

BTW, I'm not mad. I'm just sad. I needed to vent and this is my appropriate place to vent.

One last edit: I asked XW if I heard her properly that I have NO right to express concern about our children. Her response, expletives deleted, was that I had no idea about what I was talking about and I should think about that before I call her back again. Well, I have thought about it and I am not the one who has introduced our D8 to the sexually active 13-year old D of my ex-GF and I wouldn't let them have unmonitored time and/or conversations together out of shear concern, fear and my responsibility to provide guidance for my child between good choices and bad choices. Blind trust leads errant children to be errant teenagers and messed up adults. I understand that children don't grow up and tell their parents, "Mom, Dad, I wish you had been less of a parent and more of a friend." Nope, the tell them the opposite if the parent tries to befriend their child instead of parent and guide. Enough said. I've vented enough.