Hi Poet: Thank you, too. Try to believe that God will carry you through. My friends from church really helped me in the beginning. I felt comfort surrounding myself with my friends who could listen to me cry. I spent many of my days off at my friends house drinking tea and cuddling up on the couch and watching DVDs. I put all of myself (and still do) into my work. I listened to tapes about God. I learned that it's ok to be grateful to God even when you don't feel like it. I started to visualize the best outcome I could imagine. I now visualize a beautiful day at the beach when I start getting panicky.
What else? Let's see, every moment connects each day together. Soon enough, I could concentrate and focus. I realized that I was surrounded by people who loved me and liked me for me. I realized that I loved and liked them, too. I realized that I didn't need my husband to feel filled up. I didn't need my husband to feel loved and to have a good time. I found out that I like that place. I didn't need my husband to like my life and feel happy. I just preferred being a wife. I think I'm a better asset to all of my relationships now.
Poet, don't give up! Cry if you have to. It's ok to cry. Cry until you don't feel like it anymore. Let people love you and care for you. I promise you that one day you will feel good about yourself and know that you can love and be loved. It is tough to realize it, but you will come out of the other side feeling whole and feeling good. One day when you are laughing out loud, you will surprise yourself.
I promise you. Take this time for you and don't give up.
