WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 2

[confusedinpa]

On that that got me really sad tonite was that during dinner, she played on her ipod the "Buy me a rose" song.

She reminded me that she had given me a card last year with the lyrics written in it:

He works hard to give her all he thinks she wants
But it tears her apart ‘cause nothing’s for her heart
He pulls in late to wake her up with a kiss goodnight
If he could only read her mind, she’d say…
Buy me a rose, call me from work
Open a door for me, what would it hurt
Show me you love me by the look in your eyes
These are the little things I need the most in my life
Now the days have grown to years of feelin’ all alone
As she sits and wonders if all she’s doin’ is wrong
‘Cause lately she’d try anything just to turn his head
Would it make a difference if she said, if she said…
And the more that he lives the less that he tries
To show her the love that he holds inside
And the more that she gives the more that he sees
This is the story of you…and me
So I bought you a rose on the way home from work
To open the door to a heart that I hurt
And I hope you notice this look in my eyes
‘Cause I’m gonna make things right for the rest of your life
And I’m gonna hold you tonight, tonight
Do all those little things for the rest of your life

I remember reading it and didn't really get it.

When I heard the song tonite, all I could do was to caress her back slightly and appologize. I see I missed a very clear cry for attention and love. I knew I was thick and stupid about this stuff. Now I really know just how dumb I was.

I know I can't beat myself up with this but it does hurt.

She tried so hard but I didn't give her a chance to success.

Now it feels the roles are reversed. I'm trying so hard now (even with numerous backslides), but I don't feel like she's giving me a chance. I guess its true what the say about payback.....

I must remember that she tried for years, I'm just getting back week 5. I must be strong.

I know I am giving her the best VDay present right now by giving her the space she needs. I must remind myself that I'm not doing it for recognition or thanks but that I am doing it for the woman I love.