Sometimes its my life I can't taste

[sandycay]

Talking Divorce are words (don't believe what you hear)

Filing and actually doing it are Actions (believe in half of what they do)

Of course,, it doesnt help that they are all out of their freaking minds.. I just don't know why they insist on us being there too...LOL

[MichelleLT]

Cuz they don't know what will make them happy.

Cuz they still haven't figured out that happiness comes from within.

From doing the things that make you feel like the person you want to be.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Just a question in return. WDID posted this question on H4H's thread and I'm going to ask it here.

If she wants to divorce you, why isn't she?

My question is this: Why does my H still stay in constant contact with me if all he wants is to be gone?

I asked my C a version of that same question: Why, if H doesn't want to hear the truth, does he continue to call me?

She said she wondered the same thing...

I read that question earlier this evening and it got me thinking. My feelings about my earlier post haven't changed, but this question just kept popping back up to me. So I'm asking you all for your insight.

Because often, we don't KNOW what we want. It's like "survey bias" -- sometimes you answer with what you think you're SUPPOSED to say, but then there's what you REALLY think.

I think humans are mostly flawed, conflicted beings. Fold in an affair, or a MLC, or some other crisis, and you can multiply the conflict 10x.

Puppy

[whatdidido]

My guess is that your H stays in constant contact with you because he depends on you. He loves you. He just doesn't know it. He cares about what you think, he wants advice from you, you are the stable one. That's part of love. The thing he has with the other woman is a different kind of love, and now because he has a child with her, he probably feels like there is no way out. Again, facing yourself in the mirror and making the hard choices and changes is extremely hard to do.

[Sugar and Spice]

and now because he has a child with her, he probably feels like there is no way out

I agree with this quite a bit.

Again, facing yourself in the mirror and making the hard choices and changes is extremely hard to do.

That is something that I am learning, for myself as well as looking at what others choose and why.

I think that allowing oneself to be paralyzed by fear is just so sad and such a waste. I did it for a long time and its one of my biggest regrets. I don't want to spend my life fearful of the what-ifs. Its time to learn from the mistakes I make and to allow myself to make them.

Thanks for all of the insight, I was just wondering and you know how it is, its hard to see the situation from the outside, when you are on the inside.

[MichelleLT]

That's what we're here for sweetie.

Along with (((((((BIG HUGS))))))))

[karen43]

I think that allowing oneself to be paralyzed by fear is just so sad and such a waste. I did it for a long time and its one of my biggest regrets. I don't want to spend my life fearful of the what-ifs. Its time to learn from the mistakes I make and to allow myself to make them.

Thanks for all of the insight, I was just wondering and you know how it is, its hard to see the situation from the outside, when you are on the inside.

I relate to all that too. I lived my life motivated by fear for a long time and I regret that. Just makes me determined to no longer do that. It is so hard to see your own situation isn't it? I couldn't live without you guys helping give me closer to 20/20 vision on my sitch. Love ya, Corey! Happy Valentines' Day! Hope you're having a good one!!! Karen

[Babygirl]

hey sil. happy valentines day to you my dear sweet friend. remember i am in your boat right beside you literally, and i feel your pain.
love you!

[lost_in_space]

Hey (((S&S)))

Just checking in on ya. Been a while. Hope my caped crusader partner is hanging in there!

[lost_in_space]

Hey (((S&S)))

Just checking in on ya. Been a while. Hope my caped crusader partner is hanging in there!