As someone who as been there and acted almost exactly as your wife....something happened while you were gone that I believe she feels immense guilt over. I felt the same way. I had to leave him because I felt so damn guilty and never believed he would forgive me.
I still think she needs her space a little, too. I think whatever happened, happened because she was totally overwhelmed with responsibility. She doesn't believe you will forgive her and everything she had to do when you were gone is still fresh in her mind. What I wished....was the H would have held me, asked me the question, or let me get around to telling him, I'm not sure, and kept holding me and forgiven me. I want a love like that! Maybe write her a letter and tell her what you think may have happened? Maybe that it seems like she feels guilty about something, and that if she is, no matter what, affair included, no matter with who, you forgive her (if that's true). That you can understand how overwhelmed she was, and that you aren't sure you could do any better if it would have been her gone....I dunno. I would talk to the MC about this.
Melissa
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
