I meant that she is probably just as unsure of you as you are of her. If there has been a pattern, where you each have set responses and nothing changes in the long run - then the "dance" has to change, different responses will result in different outcomes. The problem comes up for many is that we don't trust the changes, we don't understand that change takes time and slip ups occur. If you don't understand what is involved in change then the same responses go into play with the same outcome. DB suggests changes, helps you to understand the nature of change and time and slip ups, but mostly to be patient with change. The suggestion to do 180's is just to get their attention, if you don't back it up over time - things go back to the same. Back to your sitch, change your response to one thing -not everything but be consistent. Too many changes at once can't be maintained.
I read a few things you stated that lead me to believe she is wavering, having a hard time with the sitch, and that could translate into the separation vs D. It was good to bring it up. She didn't give you a flat NO, she is thinking about what changes and what doesn't change. Don't push it. You can ask if she is still thinking about it - again reminding her that there is no pressure to decide now. Let her think. You think about what is realistic for you.
If she is emotionally, physically distant, try talking nicely, superficially, etc. polite conversation to break the ice.
