XW: Hi, where are you? Me: Packing. XW: Yes, where are you right now? Me: Packing, so that must mean...never mind, the short answer to your question is I'm home. What's going on? (I know she wants a favor.) XW: Well, can I bring the kids by for a little while? Me: Well, I'm packing and I can't really keep them out of the mess too...what's going on? What happened? XW: I .... She goes into a long explanation about work needs yadayadayadayada.... Me: Since I got the gist in the first two seconds, and didn't really want/need her long explanation, so I cut in and said, "Bring my kids to me. I'll make it work."
The long and the short of this is that although their presence is somewhat of an inconvenience to me packing to move, I'm happy to spend this time with them. I'll make it work and get everything done. I always do. That's my 'CAN DO!' attitude resurfacing. I love it. I am going to dig myself out of the whole I've dug for myself and move forward to make my life better for myself and my children.
When XW dropped off my children, I was pleasant and focused on my children. In reality, I'm grateful that I'm the first one she called when she ran into a scheduling difficulty between her time with our children and her work. Of course, as long as I can possibly accommodate the change in my schedule I will and I'm almost always able to swing it. So gratitude is the new word in my life for the seemingly 'inconvenient' surprises that turn out to be blessings, especially when it comes to me taking care of my responsibilities with my children and my XW's willingness to call me first, as I have always requested. Gettin' out of my own head and into the reality of my sitch and marching steadily in the direction of disengaging and detaching, and getting closer to my desired destination of 'Letting Go.'
Letting Go Tom; JUST DO IT! previously hopeful_husband
my A: Fall 05 W found out: Feb 06; separated immediately W pursued D, final 7/11/07
